When

Here are my feet that cannot move
even standing is the hardest thing to do
Here is my voice that cannot speak.
even mumbling needs more than courage
Here are my wings that cannot fly
chained with pairs of insincerity
buried in tons of lies called love
as there is nothing free in this world
for every breath I take
for every movement I make
for every voice I scream
has its own price
When is my time?
 ____________________________________________

No, I don't need your money. 
I don't need your screaming with the worst that you can.
I don't need your love, which will surely go away when I don't listen to you.
What is love to you, anyway?
This time everything shall be my policy. 
This is my life, not yours.

What I wish for

is someone who would accept me as I am, my imperfection, my inability,
someone who would never try to make me someone I am not.
And everytime I try to open my heart again,
I always get disappointed because reality is not as good as what is imagined.
Not that I don't want to try again but it just brings too much burden for me
as thinking of someone other than me is not worth the pain, never.

Now I see that to be heartless is much better
so I can't get hurt anymore.

:)

For you I am

stupid, useless, careless, annoying, uncaring,
disobedient, hard-minded, ugly, born unwanted,
defeated, a bad girl, not going to grow up,
not him, rebellious, selfish,
always wrong, not smart enough,
not diligent enough.

and no matter what I do, 
I will never be good enough for you.