At last he got up and went along to the bedroom, and when he was at the door, he saw a woman in a red dress. He kept watching her without being able to move. She did not put on any makeup. However, the beauty of her naked face was mesmerizing enough to leave him numb. She approached him slowly but sure, as gracious as dancing swan. The taps on the floor broke the silence.
"I know what you just did," she said to him in an investigating manner.
"No, you don't," he quickly replied.
But the tone of his voice cannot conceal the meaning beyond it.
He turned his face away, knowing that she could easily read the truth.
"Look at me!" She raised her voice. She grabbed his cheeks with her hands and their eyes were locked together. The time seemed frozen to both of them. She examined himself in disgust.
Suddenly the memories came back to her enraged self. For all these seven years, she had given everything to him; her sacrifice had been too much. It was more than thousands of times he had caused her to blast in fury.
When she looked deeper into his eyes, the fire in her eyes ceased and turned into clouds of disappointment.
"I was away only for a while and you..."
"Please believe me. I don't do it! It was just..." He tried to explain in vain.
"Oh, I can't believe it.You did it again!" She yelled.
She released her hands from his face and turned away. Deep inside, he knew it was not fair at all to her.
But he was not fully aware of what he was doing. The temptation was just too hard to resist. He could not stand being alone without longing for a little pleasure, eventhough it would mean hurting her.
She didn't want to cry, for if she cried, it only showed that she was overly weak.
Realizing that it was no use to stay that way forever, she turned back to him and moved her face closer to his--close enough to hear each other's sigh. She touched his lips with one of her fingers and started caressing them. Her emotions were washed away, making her finally able to speak with a more neutral voice.
"Next time, Johnnie, don't play with my makeup again. It's expensive, you know."
"I'm sorry, Mom."
THE END
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
The Point of No Return
At this point, when it is getting peaceful
you are starting to question yourself
what do you study for?
why do you get yourself involved in all these things?
you go to class everyday, afraid of missing every single moment
you do everything your professors want you to do
living up to their expectations,
eventhough it means your sacrificed happiness
you hope they will always smile upon you
but when they don't, your life is over
what is it for?
have you really learned something?
so you have that ideal GPA
which is just "a piece of paper"
does it guarantee that you will survive later?
at this point, you are sick of everything
at this point, you want to leave all of these
but you can't
there is no choice you have
is it responsibility or is it fate?
in the end
no matter what you do
you will always be a
silly
little
fool
you are starting to question yourself
what do you study for?
why do you get yourself involved in all these things?
you go to class everyday, afraid of missing every single moment
you do everything your professors want you to do
living up to their expectations,
eventhough it means your sacrificed happiness
you hope they will always smile upon you
but when they don't, your life is over
what is it for?
have you really learned something?
so you have that ideal GPA
which is just "a piece of paper"
does it guarantee that you will survive later?
at this point, you are sick of everything
at this point, you want to leave all of these
but you can't
there is no choice you have
is it responsibility or is it fate?
in the end
no matter what you do
you will always be a
silly
little
fool
Sunday, April 7, 2013
For my precious
I love you so much but your words months ago still linger in my mind... When you said to me that I would not succeed in "that subject", my heart was wounded deeply. At that time, I was feeling down and all I needed was encouraging and motivating words, not depressing anger that I turned out to get. Perhaps you didn't realize that. You can't understand me..perhaps I am too strange for you. Or you do have very high expectations, which I cannot fulfill. What can I do, anyway? The world always revolves around you, and you are the only side of your coin.
Your words, THOSE words still echo everywhere, to my ear, in my head especially when you keep saying to me how bad I am or when you keep making me fall. Now I know that you are not hesitant at all to hit me with the worst that you have.
Perhaps the best decision is to stand on my feet and start my own life. I cannot live beneath your wings anymore... I am just not good enough for you. Maybe I will never be good enough for you.
You are one of the most precious persons in the world for me.
I am only an ordinary person with my own flaws and limitations. I am sorry for that.
What I am certain of is that I will always love and respect you.
Thank you for making me realize that I need to finish my journey here quickly and fly away.
Love,
Me
Your words, THOSE words still echo everywhere, to my ear, in my head especially when you keep saying to me how bad I am or when you keep making me fall. Now I know that you are not hesitant at all to hit me with the worst that you have.
Perhaps the best decision is to stand on my feet and start my own life. I cannot live beneath your wings anymore... I am just not good enough for you. Maybe I will never be good enough for you.
You are one of the most precious persons in the world for me.
I am only an ordinary person with my own flaws and limitations. I am sorry for that.
What I am certain of is that I will always love and respect you.
Thank you for making me realize that I need to finish my journey here quickly and fly away.
Love,
Me
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