The more I step forward
The more afraid I get
I don't know
It's as if I wanted to throw myself
away to the deep sea
and let the water perish me
I falter
and I cry
like nobody ever understands me
as if I were dead

Well, maybe I am.

Mom, Dad,
someday I'll bring you here
:)

Forgotten Memory

You were all that matters
but it hurt me so much
now a year without you
less sadness, less tears
yet it is strange
how you still linger in my mind
I miss you
why are you so special?
how can I be so stupid?


(17-11-12)

I Almost Do

performed by Taylor Swift

I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
Cuz each time you reach out there's no reply
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

Oh we made quite a mess babe
It's probably better off this way
And I confess babe
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I want to try again with you
And I almost do

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me

Dear You, wherever you are


Today  from the distance I saw you...
and, though you were near
I felt alone and empty..
then I realized
that I miss you..
I miss how happy I was only to see you
I miss the way you smiled,
the way you stared at me..
I miss how I missed you
when you're gone
I miss the way you made me feel..
I miss the way you used to be
What happened to you?
or, what happened to me?
what actually happened to us?


Love,

Me, wherever I might be

My kind of perfect

(performed by David Archuleta)
 
I was thinking about ya  
I drew a little picture  
But some things you can't put on paper
Like it like shooting stars? 
I write songs on guitar 
Got more things to do than stare at a mirror
 
I know, I know, she's gotta be out there, out there 
I know I know she's gotta be
Maybe I'm wrong 
Maybe I'm right 
Maybe I just let you walk by  
What can I say?
Maybe I've known you all my life  

Is she the one? 
Is it today? 
Will I turn the corner  
See my future in a beautiful face, maybe
 
She's anything but typical 
A sweet surprise 
No matter what, she's looking at the bright side
It's gonna be worth it 
'Cause that's what love is 
I'll keep searching for my kind of perfect
 
I know, I know, she's gotta be out there, out there I know, 
I know, she's gotta be
Maybe I'm wrong  
Maybe I'm right 
Maybe I just let you walk by 
What can I say?
Maybe I've known you all my life 

Is she the one? Is it today? 
Will I turn the corner  
See my future in a beautiful face, maybe
 
They say give it time  
Give it time, and it will fall in line 
But I keep wondering how and when  
And why I haven't met you
 
But maybe I'm wrong 
Maybe I'm right  
Is she the one? 
Is it today?  
Will I turn the corner 
See my future in a beautiful face, maybe
 
Maybe I'm wrong 
 Maybe I'm right 
Maybe I just let you walk by 
What can I say?
Maybe I've known you all my life 
Is she the one? Is it today? 
Will I turn the corner  
See my future in a beautiful face, maybe
I'll keep searching for my kind of perfect


__________________________________________________

Sometimes I envy my friends who seem to have got their 'soul mates'. And for me, it seems so hard to find him. Why haven't I met him yet?

People may say I am picky. 
Yes, I am.
But it's because I don't want to treat relationship as a game. I want to have a serious relationship. It is not about the status of being 'in a relationship'. I am totally not proud of it. What is it for if I am unhappy, and it doesn't last forever?

What is he like?
I just wonder if, right now, he is also thinking of me...
I hope I will meet him soon.
:)