Hello, you, whoever you are
I know the time is not right as both you and I are in a long journey to catch our dreams. The fact is that I think about you; well, not always, but my mind starts to keep going after you. I see that it's so hard to see each other eye-to-eye. Actually, I can't promise you anything right now. We are both birds, I think, longing to spread our wings and fly away. Still, sometimes I feel the need to pause and take a break; and that's when I want to have you by my side. But where are you?
On my way to reach my future, I'm going to wait for you. If you are mine, I believe you'll be back. However, if you are not, you're never mine. 
:-)

Writing and I

I was more than happy today. Finally, my long waiting has been paid off. I got the result of the writing contest I joined and won the 1st place. I didn't expect it, though. The theme was challenging and it needed a lot of confusion to do the essay, which, then, led me to submit it very close to the end of the given time. This was actually the first contest I entered.
I never thought I had the ability to write. However, after winning the contest, I was reminded of my English teacher in my junior high school. He wasn't a teacher who was liked by all students. In fact, he was the one who was always bullied by my friends. One day, he asked us to write a composition about our holiday. I thought we did it half-heartedly since he was "unwanted." He returned our assignments and almost all of my friends got a similar-to-C score. I saw mine and I surprisingly got something like an A (I forgot the exact score) and he wrote, "Caroline, you have talent in writing. You should keep it up." He put a smile at the end of it.
One of my professors also ever said to me that I could write well but I didn't take it seriously.
Those all didn't make me feel so proud because I often met difficulties in writing. But now I realize that, maybe, I really have it. 
This made me believe that I could actually write despite a writer's block I encountered countless times.
Thank God. I won't waste what You give. 

Just because

For you

I am neither heartless nor unmerciful. When you looked at me out of desperation, I really felt that there was nothing between our never-attached bonds. The deepest part of my heart just told me that you are not for me and I am not for you. I am sorry for not giving those sparks of fireworks to you. But you can't shower me with thousands of gifts for I am not a doll living in a store. And, for me, seeing your name going along with every single text was like unstopping wakeup alarms in the middle of my tight sleep.

I am just not longing to be in a unity that I know would head for a steep cliff.
So, would you please step aside and let me walk my own way?

Stuck

Just imagine yourself sitting in front of computer, trying to write down few lines that can change your life forever. The thing is that it is not as easy as breathing. When one minute passes, you say "It's OK. Let's try again." It is five minutes already and it is like "Come on. Work faster." One hour..two hours and still nothing. And you will tell your brain "Dammit, stupid jerk."

It is a very daunting task to pretend as if I were being chased by bears, lions, or wild dogs. I still don't move no matter what happens. Perhaps to escape from reality I should keep this Confucian quote in my mind: "It doesn't matter how slowly you go as long as you don't stop." My question is: how slow can I go until I am at my wit's end?

The collision of the words "dead" and "line" is the weapon that kills me slowly right now. Everytime I keep in touch with this, nobody is my best friend. Not even my family, not even you, not even me.  Well, this goes along with how teary-eyed you get at the end of the torture.

Don't understand what I am trying to say? So here it is.

I hate thesis.

- The End -

10 Gejala Mahasiswa Tua

Bila anda merasakan hal-hal berikut terjadi, berarti anda adalah mahasiswa yang mengalami penuaan:
1.   Jarang ngampus buat masuk kelas (biasanya buat konsul skripsi atau bikin tugas)
2.   Sangat sering dipanggil dengan embel-embel "mas" atau "mbak"
3.   Setiap hari mikirin skripsi (tapi belum tentu dikerjakan, seringnya sih enggak)
4.   Lupa ambil kartu ujian akhir semester bahkan pada saat tenggat waktu pengambilannya
5.   Bingung setelah lulus mau ngelamar kerja dimana
6.   Ketemu banyak wajah mahasiswa yang tidak familiar di kampus
7.   Mupeng banget ngeliat temen-temen yang udah pada wisuda
8.   sering ditanya "Kapan lulus?"
9.   KTMnya udah hampir habis masa berlakunya
10. Stress karena hal-hal diatas

Yah bila anda merasa diri anda mahasiswa tua, ada 3 pilihan:
1. lanjutkan: maksudnya sih jadi mahasiswa abadi :p nggak capek?
2. keluar: ini yang gawat. Udah kuliah sampai tua kok jadi sia-sia ya...
3. lulus: daripada terus menua sampai jenggotan di kampus atau  percuma kuliah lama mending segera lulus :)

Kalau aku sih pilih cepet lulus aja hehehe. I am sick of being old :p


I will get my S.Pd.  in JULY 2014!!!!!!!!
:)