The more I step forward
The more afraid I get
I don't know
It's as if I wanted to throw myself
away to the deep sea
and let the water perish me
I falter
and I cry
like nobody ever understands me
as if I were dead

Well, maybe I am.

Mom, Dad,
someday I'll bring you here
:)

Forgotten Memory

You were all that matters
but it hurt me so much
now a year without you
less sadness, less tears
yet it is strange
how you still linger in my mind
I miss you
why are you so special?
how can I be so stupid?


(17-11-12)

I Almost Do

performed by Taylor Swift

I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window
Looking out at the city
And I bet sometimes you wonder about me

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

I bet you think I either moved on or hate you
Cuz each time you reach out there's no reply
I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say hello to you
And risk another goodbye

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

Oh we made quite a mess babe
It's probably better off this way
And I confess babe
In my dreams you're touching my face
And asking me if I want to try again with you
And I almost do

And I just want to tell you
It takes everything in me not to call you
And I wish I could run to you
And I hope you know that every time I don't
I almost do
I almost do

I bet this time of night you're still up
I bet you're tired from a long hard week
I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city
And I hope sometimes you wonder about me

Dear You, wherever you are


Today  from the distance I saw you...
and, though you were near
I felt alone and empty..
then I realized
that I miss you..
I miss how happy I was only to see you
I miss the way you smiled,
the way you stared at me..
I miss how I missed you
when you're gone
I miss the way you made me feel..
I miss the way you used to be
What happened to you?
or, what happened to me?
what actually happened to us?


Love,

Me, wherever I might be