Merry Christmas, Ben

It was just the two of us. We were sitting beside each other at the bottom of the stairs, facing the twinkling lights coming from the artificial pine tree. The night was brutally cold although I had worn my thickest suit. The snow didn’t fall and the door wasn’t left open but I could feel the angry blow of the air stabbing every part of my body.
“Thanks,” he said.
“What for?” I replied.
He reached my left hand and held it. ”For this.” He smiled, looking at our locked fingers.
I turned to stare at his eyes. They were still as blue as the first time I met him, tempting me to look more deeply. I could never resist their sparkle, which always invited butterflies to my stomach. I let my head lie on his broad shoulder to ask for warmth. He then hugged me tightly as my body began to shiver.
Not moving his right arm on my shoulder, he opened the bulky backpack beside him with his free hand to take out a medium-sized box and handed it to me. The box was covered with a piece of colorful wrap and tied with a red ribbon. I untied the the ribbon and carefully removed the tape so I didn’t ruin the wrap. When it was opened completely, I was very surprised to see a brown paper photo frame. “Merry Christmas.” He smiled again.
It was the most uncommon photo frame I ever saw. The shape was asymmetrical – a square-like form with uneven angles. The stain of the glue was on every fold of the paper. It was more like something from the dustbin. Inside the frame was a photo of us taken on his birthday, when his face was full of chocolate icing and I laughed as he pinched my cheeks.
“What do you think? I made it myself,” he said.
I glanced at him, unbelieving.
“Well, I guess I am not good at handicraft,” he added, grinning. “Don’t you like it?”
It wasn’t the first time I received such gift made by his own hands. I also had his handmade necklace, bracelet and brooch which owned the same quality as the photo frame, which I still kept safe in my jewelry box. It was so sweet of him. I didn’t know why, but remembering those memories made me come to a realization that there was something I had always wanted to say, something I had been hiding from him, leaving my words unsaid. “Why so silent, Kate?” he questioned.
“I....I’m sorry,” I finally replied.
He wrinkled his forehead. “What’s wrong?”
I kept looking at the photo frame to avoid his curious look, stroking it with my right thumb. My heart raced faster as the sound of the Grandfather’s Clock told us that midnight had come. I felt tears started to burn my eyeballs, but I tried to hold it as long as I could, which needed a lot of effort. I was relieved to be able to recollect my common sense after taking a deep breath.
“You and I....” I paused. “ I can’t do this anymore. ” I bowed my head.
“What do you mean?” There was fear on his voice.
My mind went blank for some seconds.
“Ben,” I whispered. “We are not right for each other.” A long silence filled the space between us.
Without looking at his face, I gave the photo frame back to him. I quickly stood up to burst open the wooden door, finding out that the snow had fallen. Ignoring a voice calling my name, I commanded my boots to step farther as warm water fell down my eyes. It was the worst thing I ever did to someone. However, deep inside, I knew I was right. With the help of the swift wind, the snow finally froze my tears, leaving a faint smile on my face. Merry Christmas, Ben.