After long periods of writing break, it feels awkward to start again. This happens to be my first post in 2016 anyway. It's not that I have decided to abandon it. Usually, the beginning of the year is marked by fresh, new self, feeling motivated to accomplish goals during the year. Nevertheless, it doesn't happen to me, I think. In fact, heart break, unwillingness to forget the past, and  fear of disappointment prevent me from calling for too much hope.

Time is ticking and I am only freezing at one point while looking at my friends being successful in their career. Meanwhile, some others, who are lucky enough to have found their soul mates, have decided to start a family: "together forever," in other words (perhaps).  I must say that I've scored ZERO in those two sides.

Though my career performance only stays in the same place, I begin enjoying my time at my workplace; all my co-workers are my good friends and we've been through good and bad times together. However, I realize that I must spread my wings and develop myself more to achieve something new. Staying there means that I don't want to go out of my comfort zone.

On the other side, my love life is depressing. I remember vividly that he'd chosen to leave me for something I couldn't understand. While other normal couples wish to meet each other as soon as possible, he feels so comfortable staying away from me, making him unwilling to travel 2.5 hours long for me though it's only once a month (he said once or twice, but, well, things change). I am getting so used to feeling miserable of missing him, that I don't really care about his presence in my life now. This one year of prayers and waiting have been wasted and it's just countdown to the end.

The only way to make a new start, for me, is to be courageous. I create my own happiness and I have the rights to feel it. What must end, must end. What must begin, must begin.