I follow the night
can't stand the light
when will I begin my life again?

One day I'll fly away
and leave all these to yesterday

What more can you do for me?
Why live life from dream to dream?
cause when it ends
we're gonna dread it

Still you make your mark
here, in my heart...

I wish....

I often think to myself, "Why am I different from others?"
I feel like a bird in a cage, longing to be free but not able to escape.
For all these times, my parents have spoiled me a lot. I am surrounded with a lot of things they give. I was happy and I felt so lucky because I knew there were lots of friends who were much unluckier than me. But as the time went by, I started to feel so useless...
I tried to change but it's so hard. They often said that I was rebellious and my behavior was not like those of my cousins who "made their parents proud"...
On the other side, I feel guilty because I often lie to them for everything I do. There were many reasons that I said to make them let me do what I want to do. But still, they often lecture me...
Now, I feel so bad for lying a lot to my parents...
I just want to say, "Mom, Dad, I'm not your LITTLE daughter anymore...Please let me be free..."

Heart Like A Wheel

Some say the heart is just like a wheel
When you bend it you can't mend it
And my love for you is like a sinking ship
My heart is on that ship out in mid-ocean

They say that death is a tragedy
It comes once and then it's over
But my one only wish is for that deep dark abyss
For what's the use of living with no true lover

When harm is done no love can be won
I know it happens frequently
what I can't understand please
God hold my hand
Is why it should have happened to me

And it's only love
that can break a human being
and turn him inside out
it's only love...


-The Corrs-

GOD is GREAT :)

I don't know what I exactly feel today, but it's like He touched my hand and said, "Do not be afraid, my child. I will always be with you."
I really want to praise Him for everything that happens in my life. I have been through good and bad times, and He never leaves me.
Being an unstable teenager, I don't pray a lot. I often feel lazy to pray and sometimes I only see it as an obligation. I know it's wrong. Prayer is so powerful and it can strengthen me. I'm just too stupid to realize it.
So, from this time, I'm going to promise to myself that I'm gonna try to pray with all my heart. I want to feel His presence and I want to be able to listen to Him.
I am His forever... :)

Hei blog, lagi-lagi disinilah aku..."terdampar" di perpustakaan kampus...hehehe
Ini gara-gara mau lihat nilai di kampus, tapi dari dulu 3 mata kuliah itu belum keluar juga...ckckck
Aku jadi kayak anak nerdy yang kerjaannya ke perpus terus nih..hahaha. Sampe bapaknya yang biasa jaga locker aja apal sama aku... :p
Di perpus aku tuh sukanya keliling-keliling *kayak keliling di mall wkwkwk*. Tempat yang paling aku sukai di perpus tuh basement-nya. Padahal, teman-temanku paling takut lho, kesana. Karena, konon ada....*tuuuuut* (lebih baik tidak usah diceritakan hahaha). Tapi aku justru suka ada di sana. Habis, baunya itu lho, aku suka *padahal bau kamper*. Entahlah, mencium aroma basement membuatku teringat kenangan-kenangan lama yang indah, meski aku tidak ingat benar apa kenangan itu. Aneh ya? hahaha
Kalo ada buku yang bagus, ya aku pinjam..Tapi, apakah buku itu aku baca? Jawabannya adalah...TIDAK..XD
Padahal, aku sampe memperpanjang buku tersebut segala...:p
Habis, rasanya mau baca kok males ya, kayaknya ada aja kegiatan lain yang lebih menyenangkan. Rajin banget ya aku? ;P
Tapi, alesan lain aku suka di perpustakaan adalah aku bisa tenang di sini, dengan kesunyian yang ada. Aku merasa, di sini aku bisa menghilang sesaat dan tidak perlu dilihat oleh teman-teman...
Jujur, aku ini orangnya sangat minder dan gak PDan. Yah, aku memang bisa PD sih, kalo disuruh speech atau tampil yang lainnya. Tapi, kalau berhadapan teman-teman *yang notabene bukan teman dekat* aku kadang-kadang merasa bahwa mereka tidak tulus padaku...Aku jadi teringat kenanganku dulu waktu aku masih kecil...Aku sering diejek teman-temanku ini-itu sampe aku sakit hati...Ada yang berani bilang langsung, tapi ada juga yang cuma ngomongin di belakang...
Tentu, saat ini aku sudah memaafkan mereka...Tapi kok aku teringat hal itu terus ya? Kenapa sih melupakan lebih susah daripada memaafkan??
Memori masa lalu itu terus membayang-bayangi aku...
Aku bener-bener berharap, bisa memaafkan dan melupakan!

Burning Spirit

I have a lot of dreams for my future..Everyone may think it's too big and I might not be able to achieve it. I know, as a human, I have a limited ability and sometimes I feel like I have done everything in vain.
But, I won't give up...
I promise to myself that someday I'm going to make my parents proud.
I've always been the one who is always bad and it seems that I never do things right for them. So, I'm just going to prove that I can.
A lot of obstacles await me...but I shouldn't be afraid to face them.
Though I may fall many times, I'm going to stand up stronger.
This burning spirit isn't going to go away too soon.