It's still 2 days to go before my national final exam. Ready or not, I have to face it bravely. I know for all these times I haven't studied well. I was too worried to think about the other thing that actually I can't bear anymore. I know it was a stupidity of me. Even now I still feel confused and a bit guilty. I'm afraid if the decision I'm going to make is not right.
I feel guilty, especially to my parents who have spent a lot for me. I just don't want to burden them. I can only pray to God, hoping that my decision is the best for me and others.
I've got to fight for those 5 days of national final exam. I just realized that I'm so....unprepared. But now that it's going to happen, I must try to do my best. 70 is my target score for physics and biology, 75 for Maths and Indonesian, 80 for Chemistry, and 90 for English. I feel that physics and biology are really depressing. It's not because I can't, but I just don't want to study! Math and Indonesian are OK, but sometimes the time is not enough to do Math test, and for Indonesian language, the questions often drive me crazy, because the answer options are so similar that I can't really decide which is the best answer. Chemistry isn't my best subject, but I kinda like it. And why do I put such a high target for English? It's because English is the easiest among all. I don't know what others feel, but for me English isn't my problem...
I can't wait to finish my national exam! I can't wait to be in THAT day...the day of tough decision...Whatever happens, I just want to surrender to His will....
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