Another Lesson

Everything happens for a reason; this is true. Maybe this is just another lesson coming to open my mind. People won't learn anything if they never make mistakes. I am grateful that this is not "the end of the world" although it affected me so much. Honestly, I am in the state of questioning whether or not the situation is real; I wish it weren't. But day by day, I learned that no matter how hard I try to heal the wound, no matter how many times I pretend to be fine, the pain persists from within. Now I understand that I must not try too hard; in fact, I must accept that it did hurt me and I've got to let it flow. I'd just cry a river over it. This way I can feel calmer; I can even start to hope that tomorrow will be much better and this moment will be my yesterday. I know that as long as it doesn't kill me, it will make me a stronger and wiser person.

The conclusion I've got now is that I may only be holding on to nothingness. Probably my remaining unwillingness and "sense of belonging" is making me stupider than ever; it does nothing but trying to keep my hopes up high and finally throwing it to the abyss underneath. I've got my lesson. This time, I don't want it to grow and flourish. Actually, I am counting days til it explodes and vanishes...The best has yet to come.