Only Hope

"Let's go ahead without hoping." At first, I thought that it was a good idea that made sense but soon I realized that it is one of the most ridiculous statements I ever heard. It's impossible to hold on without hoping, for hope itself is the thing that makes me strong, no matter how small it may be. Hope is something that reminds me that eventually everything will fall into place after it falls apart. It is the faith that there is still happiness beyond every sorrow.

Nevertheless, it is the hope itself that destroyed me after I went through several hard knocks. It made me doubtful to keep chasing something that will never happen. It's not that I don't believe in miracles, tough. I do believe in miracles but what I can feel now is fear of getting hurt..over and over again. Waiting for the storm to pass is now useless because there has been much damage caused. If I stand still in this trouble, I am sure that I will only break like a glass--wait, I am already broken.

My hope in certain things is starting to fade, along with the wound that I don't know how to heal. That little hope remains; I hold on although I clearly know that it is the best to let go. Yes, what a fool I am to stay for almost no reason. The courage to make change may be what I need. So, I want to surrender everything to God; He never let me down although I have disappointed him many times. I will walk with Him and finally leave all this behind. I think will survive despite the chaos I feel deep inside. He is my only hope.