Conviction

I've seen a lot of things that went beyond my expectations. Just in front of my sight, in a matter of seconds, anyone could suddenly turn into a stranger or a perfect traitor. Trust, love, and promises are no longer considered; they are just packed into a sweet cover worn to hide one's true colors. I used to think that what I know exactly will stay that way...but apparently it is not: it is NEVER that way. It's merely my idealized form of perfection. Now I doubt my own idealism and it has wounded me deeply. I don't think I can't mend this broken heart soon enough but I do hope that time will tell. Right now, I can only feel anger, disappointment, pain, and sadness. I would like to say that it is the closest to "hatred" but then these words keep reminding me: "What about forgiveness?"

I realize that my trust only belongs to God, for there is nobody I can really trust. This has caused me to make a strong promise with Him. I am serious and I am never going to break it. I don't believe that as the world is getting worse, I must also go with the stream, which will only lead me to perpetual destruction and regrets. Even if friends will turn into enemies, even if it means that I will be the only one, I won't do what I think is not right. I don't know how hard it is, but, for sure, I want to keep defending my own belief. For me, my relationship with God is much more important than what people may think about me.